Last week I had my pre-operative appointments at the Clinic... came through just fine, though I didn't think there would be much of a problem. My blood pressure was a touch on the high side, just the upper number, which the internist I saw commented on but wasn't concerned about. I met with Dr. Drake's nurse practitioner, a super-nice woman named Barb. She went over what I need to do before surgery, which is the dreaded bowel prep (aka clean out your intestinal tract quickly with the use of chemicals). Now I know why I scheduled PTO for the day before surgery... I had somehow had the crazy idea of doing something fun on Thursday! Silly, silly mama. We talked about what he'll be removing, and I got some clarification from our conversation.
The right ovary - gone. It's in the middle of this mess so it's out. The mesentery mass - gone, unless it's too close to a major blood vessel, as Dr. Drake had explained. Left adnexal mass - gone. I've been thinking a lot about the left ovary, which has the mass close to it but not on it. The idea of leaving the ovary in has been bothering me, given that while small, the chance that we are looking at ovarian cancer is there. So I asked Barb if he shouldn't just take it out. She explained that they will look at a sample of the mass right away while I'm in surgery so they will know if it's ovarian cancer or not... and so if not, and he can spare the left ovary, he will. That was reassuring news; both in terms of my ovary and in not having to wait so long for answers.
If Dr. Drake is able to do the whole procedure with laparoscope, then I'll stay over one night in the hospital and go home Saturday. That is my big hope, so I'm sending positive vibes to my mass, telling it to get the hell away from my intestines! As many of you know, staying in the hospital is torture to me. I know it's no picnic for anyone, but I am just so uncomfortable there, and can't stand not being at home where I can relax. Wah wah wah... I feel truly grateful that in comparison to many other people, I have it quite easy... however, it's my blog so I'll whine if I feel like it.
Now I will tell a shameful tale about myself. On Thursday I felt pretty sleepy, going in to the hospital for my tests. Friday I was also really sleepy in the morning. A friend drove me to work Friday because she had meetings in my building and Jim and the girls were picking me up to meet some folks for dinner. I tried to stay awake and perky during the commute, but my friend was on to me... in a nice way. Both days coffee and activity at work got me going after a bit. Then on Saturday I just wanted to sleep and sleep again. Jim asked me if I'd taken my morning meds, one of which is a stimulant for ADD. I told Jim that I had, but maybe not having any coffee was really knocking me out. In the early afternoon I finally roused myself enough to do some chores. In the kitchen I stopped to refill my morning pill minder. Each day along with the ADD med, I take an anti-depressant and blood pressure med. A couple of my meds look different lately because one recently went generic, and the other is a generic from a different company than it used to be from. So, I'm still getting used to how my pills look. As I refilled the daily boxes, I came to a horrible realization... for the past few days, instead of my hypertension pill, I was instead taking a Xanax. NO WONDER I WAS ASLEEP!!! And now it made sense that my blood pressure reading on Thursday was a little high. I am now back on the right pills and the Xanax is tucked away in keeping with its 'as needed' status. Another bout of spaciness... chemo brain, overwhlemed brain, aged brain, combination? Who knows.