I have a date... for surgery. Today Jim and I met with Dr. Drake, who will be performing the surgery on August 6. That happens to be two years exactly from the date I had my first resection of a metastasis,or in other words, had kidney cancer removed from another part of my body.
He plans to do the surgery via laparoscope if possible. I will most certainly have the right ovary removed, as that is the side where the largest mass is. The mass might be involved with some loops of my small intestine. If that is the case, he may have to "open me up" to remove some of the small bowel and repair it. He will also get the mass by the left ovary. I have a cyst on the left ovary and it's possible he might remove the left ovary as well. If that happens, I officially will be in menopause... weird thought. Lastly, there is an additional mass in the mesentery, that Dr. Olencki had mentioned in Columbus, but nobody in Cleveland seemed to see until now. Dr. Drake will try to remove it, as long as it's not attached to a major blood vessel or anything. If that is the case, he'll take a sample for pathology.
If everything goes well and I don't need to be opened up, I could go home that day. On the other hand, if it becomes a more invasive, major procedure, I could be in the hospital for 3-5 days. Oh joy; how I so love being an inpatient. But, I do what I have to do... and the more he can get out, the better. I'm not thrilled about possibly losing both ovaries, though there are upsides to that as well as downsides, and being alive and well while hormonally challenged beats many alternatives.
We will not be telling the girls about my surgery until that week, so that they don't freak out and obsess for weeks about Mommy being gone. It's been a great several months and we've gotten used to being together again. Carly is showing some signs of her difficulty with my hospitalizations, more so than she did when they were going on. She is more lovey-dovey with me, telling me often that she loves me, and wanting to cuddle more than she used to. Rebecca still likes to come up for a hug at random times, but has been overall more accepting of everything as she has matured. Carly continues to talk to us about death. Over the weekend she has mentioned that she thinks Jim and I will die before she grows up. I asked her if she was afraid that was going to happen, and she said she was. We talked again about the idea of trying to be as healthy as we can so that we don't die for a long time, and she accepted that. I might just be extra sensitive to this topic, while for her, asking these questions and considering these possibilities may just be a part of her growing up process.