We're getting into summer mode here at silly mama central. Rebecca finished first grade last week and started day camp this week. Both girls like wearing their swimsuits outside, even if they aren't going to be swimming or running through a sprinkler. And both are taking swimming lessons this summer... thank goodness for their daycare/camp, where we can pay for lessons and the camp folks take the kids one morning a week. While I would like to be able to watch their progress, I am glad they can have these additional activities without further disrupting our family schedule. This weekend is the biennial dance recital at the girls' dance studio, so once we get through Sunday we won't have those 3 one-hour blocks of dance time filled for a couple of months. The recital itself will be fun though; Carly will dance for the first time, and Rebecca is in two dances - one ballet, and one jazz. I volunteered to be a "class mom" for Carly's ballet class, so I get to sit with 12 3-5 year olds. Rhw other mom who volunteered had to back out, so I may be flying solo, though I'm not too worried about it. I think the experience of being there is magical enough that the girls will behave pretty well.
Rebecca is playing softball this summer for the first time, so we have games a couple of times a week, always at 6:30. The coach pitches, they don't keep score, nobody strikes out, or is tagged/called out at all. Basically they play 3 innings and each girl gets to bat each inning. They are all learning the fundamentals of softball and they are having fun. This was the first time Rebecca has been interested in playing an organized team sport; when I have asked her in the past about signing up for a sport, she has been unenthusiastic. But now that she is in school, she hears positive things about team sports from her friends, some of whom are also playing softball, and many of whom play soccer. Carly participates in soccer, through another program that is brought into her day care, but Rebecca has never formally played. That will change this fall, because both girls are now registered to play soccer in our local rec league... And thus, my transformation into a mini-van driving soccer mom is complete.
I am actually okay with that, because I want them to enjoy movement and activity. They both do ballet and Rebecca started jazz this year, both are learning to swim. Carly takes soccer and gymnastics at day care and Rebecca does karate. Sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it? It costs some money, too, but I'm working to stretch the dollars to keep up with these activities for their sake. The only activity I have vetoed recently is a seven-week cheerleading session that is coming to the daycare/camp. It is $70 plus $20 for a shirt. I'm not against cheerleading but thought that was a bit steep, especially right now. Both girls were a little disappointed that they aren't going to participate, but not badly so, which made me feel better about saying no to it.
Jim is still looking for work, and so money is still pretty tight here. He's seen a couple of promising leads in the past week or so, but I have learned not to get too excited about them, since we've been down that road before, more times than we'd like to recall. I'd like to have a garage sale this summer, to get rid of some of the excess stuff that fills our house, and would also like to try to sell a few things on Craigslist, but my security-conscious husband is not in agreement. He is against having people come to the house from CL and doesn't want me meeting them elsewhere. Okay, so let's at least have a garage sale, says Liz. Well... that might be okay, but then there are those people that come around (referred to as gypsies, which always makes me sad, as I like to think of gypsies as magical carnival people) and try to scam you out of your stuff. I learned from Jim's mom that they had experienced someone trying to do this at a garage sale she held when he was a kid. So okay, I can see why he'd be worried... but I am tired of being buried in stuff and just want it OUT. Frankly, if someone scammed me out of some of my garage sale goods, then great... less stuff to have to pack up for charity. So if any of you has any reassuring words for Jim that will help me, please pass them along!
Through it all, I am in personal waiting mode, as usual. I have an appointment at the end of the month with my gynecologist to discuss this ovarian "thing" and see what we're going to do next. Impatient me wants to know, since life is busy, what will I need to plan for... biopsy? Surgery? We don't know.
Most of the time I'm able to put it out of my head, but when I stop to think about it, I'm not scared so much as annoyed... and tired of not being able to make plans for more than the immediate future, "just in case" I may be undergoing some kind of treatment. But it is the way of my life these days so I just work on accepting it.
In the mean time, I'm trying to work on my body and health. I joined a friendly competition program at work, where we form teams and track things like exercise minutes, pedometer steps, water consumed, etc. over the course of 12 weeks. I've been faithfully wearing my new pedometer every day and was pretty sad at first to see just how sedentary I have been. But wearing it is inspiring me to move more, whether to make that extra trip to get something, or to take the stairs at work more, etc. My office is four floors up from where I park. Last summer I got into walking up all 96 steps to my floor. Now, I stopped at least once on the way up each day, and felt ready to pass out at the top, but I was doing it, up until I got my scan results last July, at which point I gave up... then when I got back to work, I didn't have the stamina at first to tackle it. I'm still not going up all four flights in the morning, but I am trying to do 1-2 flights. In the afternoon I usually take the stairs down all the way to the basement. A friend told me once that she had read that walking down stairs in particular is good for your blood pressure. I haven't found anything online to support that, but it can't be bad for it. Some of my co-workers and I are getting back to taking regular walks during the day as well. It's good for all of us, and nice for me to have company AND peer pressure to keep up with it.
My eating has not been too great however; I've been far too mindless and not mindful enough. I hope to work on that next. However, I am trying to do things that are positive, rather than set myself up to feel deprived or punished. I'm trying to get into a self-love mindset in the hope that more healthy eating patterns will follow. Each day is a new start but some new starts seem to go downhill rapidly... but enough about that, I 'm not going to criticize myself.