I'm not sure how it is that I have found myself in the second half of April, as though I was just set here. The past several weeks have been a haze of daily activity, and of plans made by me but not exactly followed through on. Lots of thoughts are rattling around in my head but I haven't been able to bring myself to write, blog or otherwise express them. Here are some of them, in no particular order:
While I am extremely thankful that the HDIL-2 treatments have brought me stability, at least until my next scans (May 20), I am still annoyed at the effects of the resulting hypothyroid condition I am experiencing. Namely... hair loss. At first I just noticed the loss of hair on arms and legs... good stuff as far as I am concerned. But then it started falling out of my head too. It is now seriously thin on top, and looks more baby-fine than usual all over. I *think* hair is starting to regrow, now that I am on a higher dose of synthroid, but it's going to take a while. Wah. Next week I am scheduled for blood work to see if the increased dose is helping; fingers crossed that it is.
I was doing great at walking several days a week and getting more movement and exercise into my day in general. Then, just before Easter, I got sick with what I thought was a cold. The morning after Easter, I woke up with my throat feeling very 'thick', like I could feel it touching itself when I swallowed. Fortunately I was able to get an appointment with one of the doctors in my doc's office that morning. She looked into my throat and exclaimed "Yikes!" Ok then, at least I felt validated that I wasn't faking anything. She had me cultured for strep; the rapid test was negative but she prescribed an antibiotic anyhow. Good thing; on Friday the results of the culture came back positive for Strep A. Luckily I was the only member of my family to get it.
With the strep entering my body, all my self-care ambition seemed to flow out. Only over this weekend did I feel like I was kind of 'waking up' to myself again. This week I am trying to eat better (read: less) and was able to get a walk in yesterday with two of my coworkers. At home I am annoyed with my inability to finish projects that I have started, but at least I have made some headway. By this weekend I should have a bunch of the girls' clothes boxed and put away in the attic, freeing up some precious hallway space.
Speaking of the girls, Rebecca is agonizing about her upcoming adenoid surgery. Every evening she talks about it and shares one or more fears with us. Most of her fears are centered around the thought that the anesthesia might not make her go to sleep, or that she will wake up during the procedure. We've done our best to explain how it works, but she's not convinced. She was concerned that "nobody will be there with me" even though both Mommy and Daddy have assured her that we will both be there. She asked her Grandma to come and Grandma agreed. But, she said to me later, "nobody else will be there". I guess she had visions of the whole family around her... She is also afraid of the pain after the procedure. That is understandable, though I've talked to her about not focusing on it ahead of time. My poor girl has taken to carrying her beloved Froggy around the house, and has been keeping him in her school bag too. She wants to make him a surgical gown of his own to wear on the day of surgery, so we will need to start (and finish!) that project pretty soon. I have my own fears about her procedure of course, but I know it will be fine and I am looking forward to her being able to literally breathe easier. We're T minus 15 days now so we don't have a whole lot longer to wait.