Sunday, April 25, 2010

Possible future irony

So Rebecca is having her adenoids removed in 10 days.  Not her tonsils; they were regular size and have not given her trouble.  Everyone keeps asking if she is also having her tonsils removed and is surprised when we say no.

I on the other hand am on my second bout of strep in 3 weeks!  I woke up yesterday morning with a soreish throat.  The day was packed with activities and I made it to everything just fine, but by late afternoon I was toast.  During the evening my temperature reached almost 102 degrees.  I sweated my way through the night and by morning was back down to 100 degrees but knew I needed to have someone check me out.  The urgent care-type place we went to was blessedly empty when we arrived shortly after 11AM.  The LPN who did my intake looked in my throat and commented on how red it was.  Then the nurse practitioner came in, and was very concerned because my right tonsil is close to touching the uvula, I guess.  I'm now on a new 10 day course of antibiotics and was told that if my breathing becomes difficult, to head right to the ER.  

Hopefully either the last antibiotic didn't quite kill all the germs, or I somehow reinfected myself.  When I was a kid I would get tonsillitis every year until I was about 11 or 12.  At that point the pediatrician told my mom and me that if I got it again, they would need to take my tonsils out.  Suddenly I stopped having sore throats!  Now I need to put that same 'scare' into my body so that a tonsil surgery isn't in my future.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My sweet girl

First, thanks to you all for following me still... I am not the most consistent of bloggers, though I want to do this more often to stretch my creative muscles.  I appreciate the comments you leave for me.

Which leads me to number two - Sherri, you left a GENIUS idea in the comments on my last post.  Rebecca and I went to the Build A Bear Workshop web site last night and found this: 

Is that not the cutest?  It may be a little big for Froggy but we will make it work.  I ordered it online; even if the closest BABW has the outfit in stock, it would cost me the same in gas that they charged for shipping, plus the time it would take to go there and back.  AND... if I went in person with the girls, of course they would want to buy something(s)... hell, if I went alone I would want to buy stuff for them!  And money aside, the last thing we need in this house is More. Stuffed. Animals.  Rebecca is excited about the outfit; we will post a photo once it arrives and we suit up our friend Froggy.  Using Rebecca's camera that is; my camera decided to die this week.  Jim checked online and the repair cost is at least $100 through Canon, with no guarantee that I wouldn't get some other refurbished camera back.  So, I will be saving up for a new camera.  Wah.

Over the weekend Rebecca was really expressing a lot of upset about her surgery.  I asked her if she maybe wanted to talk to her guidance counselor at school, Mrs. E.  At the beginning of the school year, I contacted R's teachers and Mrs. E to give them the heads-up about my then upcoming HDIL-2 treatments.  Mrs. E has talked to R a few times since and been a great help to her.  I also suggested that maybe R would like to talk to the therapist I was seeing recently; at my therapist's suggestion, R came  with me to a session once to talk about how upset she would get if I went somewhere without her (like date night with Jim, to a store by myself, etc.)  Rebecca said she'd like to talk with Mrs. E and decided to write her a note.  I wish I had scanned it before she took it to school.  It was cute - she told Mrs. E that she will be having surgery for her adenoids, that she is very worried and that she and Mommy thought maybe talking to Mrs. E would be a good idea.  Rebecca gave the note to her teacher on Monday morning.  The teacher promised to put the note in Mrs. E's mail box, but explained that due to testing in another grade, Mrs. E might not be available to talk to Rebecca this week.

Well, Mrs. E came through - she had Rebecca come to her office this afternoon.  She reassured R that she will in fact fall asleep so she doesn't need to fear that.  They talked about other aspects of the surgery as well; it sounds like Mrs. E said many of the same things Jim and I have been telling Rebecca, but since the words came from her and not us, R is considering them differently.  That is fine with me; she's smart enough to know that her mom and dad want to comfort and protect her, and she sees Mrs. E as someone who will tell her the truth.  She said that at one point Mrs. E said something to the effect of "if I were your mom, I would tell you that this will all be over soon and it will all be fine."  So I said those words right back to Rebecca.  And I will keep saying them.

I realized that I do have fears that something might go wrong, not on a major scale, but some complication might happen, and because of that, maybe I haven't sounded as convincing as I should when discussing the surgery with my sweet ladybug.  Maybe some of my medical experiences are coloring my words and inflection; also, Rebecca has seen me through a lot of medical crap and knows that strange things can happen, like your incision can come open and cause you to have to have a wound packed. She did seem a lot more calm tonight, and didn't get teary talking about any of it.  

I'm so grateful to Mrs. E for helping Rebecca out, and I am extremely proud of my girl for asking for and receiving the help she needed.  I could do better at that myself, so will take a lesson from my sweet daughter.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Bullet points

I'm not sure how it is that I have found myself in the second half of April, as though I was just set here.  The past several weeks have been a haze of daily activity, and of plans made by me but not exactly followed through on.  Lots of thoughts are rattling around in my head but I haven't been able to bring myself to write, blog or otherwise express them.  Here are some of them, in no particular order:

While I am extremely thankful that the HDIL-2 treatments have brought me stability, at least until my next scans (May 20), I am still annoyed at the effects of the resulting hypothyroid condition I am experiencing.  Namely... hair loss.  At first I just noticed the loss of hair on arms and legs... good stuff as far as I am concerned.  But then it started falling out of my head too.  It is now seriously thin on top, and looks more baby-fine than usual all over.  I *think* hair is starting to regrow, now that I am on a higher dose of synthroid, but it's going to take a while.  Wah.  Next week I am scheduled for blood work to see if the increased dose is helping; fingers crossed that it is.

I was doing great at walking several days a week and getting more movement and exercise into my day in general.  Then, just before Easter, I got sick with what I thought was a cold.  The morning after Easter, I woke up with my throat feeling very 'thick', like I could feel it touching itself when I swallowed.  Fortunately I was able to get an appointment with one of the doctors in my doc's office that morning.  She looked into my throat and exclaimed "Yikes!"  Ok then, at least I felt validated that I wasn't faking anything.  She had me cultured for strep; the rapid test was negative but she prescribed an antibiotic anyhow.  Good thing; on Friday the results of the culture came back positive for Strep A.  Luckily I was the only member of my family to get it.

With the strep entering my body, all my self-care ambition seemed to flow out.  Only over this weekend did I feel like I was kind of 'waking up' to myself again.  This week I am trying to eat better (read: less) and was able to get a walk in yesterday with two of my coworkers.  At home I am annoyed with my inability to finish projects that I have started, but at least I have made some headway.  By this weekend I should have a bunch of the girls' clothes boxed and put away in the attic, freeing up some precious hallway space. 

Speaking of the girls, Rebecca is agonizing about her upcoming adenoid surgery.  Every evening she talks about it and shares one or more fears with us.  Most of her fears are centered around the thought that the anesthesia might not make her go to sleep, or that she will wake up during the procedure.  We've done our best to explain how it works, but she's not convinced.  She was concerned that "nobody will be there with me" even though both Mommy and Daddy have assured her that we will both be there.  She asked her Grandma to come and Grandma agreed.  But, she said to me later, "nobody else will be there".  I guess she had visions of the whole family around her...  She is also afraid of the pain after the procedure.  That is understandable, though I've talked to her about not focusing on it ahead of time.  My poor girl has taken to carrying her beloved Froggy around the house, and has been keeping him in her school bag too.  She wants to make him a surgical gown of his own to wear on the day of surgery, so we will need to start (and finish!) that project pretty soon.  I have my own fears about her procedure of course, but I know it will be fine and I am looking forward to her being able to literally breathe easier.  We're T minus 15 days now so we don't have a whole lot longer to wait.