Friday, August 15, 2008

Concerns of a more mundane sort

So I'm at home to rest and recover from the surgery. It's a time of peace and quiet, as I am almost never home by myself. This pause from my hectic life is giving me the chance to nap, to watch dvds that I can't watch with the girls around, and to just hang out.

Unfortunately, Becky has other plans for me. Timing is everything, and not always in a good way. The girls started their new school on August 4, two days before the surgery. Carly has taken to the new school like a fish to water; you would never know she'd been somewhere else. Becky was all smiles the first week too.

Then came Monday... she woke up crying hysterically. At first I thought she'd had a nightmare but she said no, just kept saying "I want you, mama". Jim and I both tried to feel her out as to what was going on. She did mention that she was upset because the morning teacher would be on vacation this week, and that she was sometimes bored because there wasn't a computer in the classroom. (Turns out there is one, but it's not turned on every day.) Jim asked if it was okay for her to stay home with me. Well, not really... I was exhausted because I'd done too much over the weekend and not rested enough, but how could I say no? I ended up only getting about an hour nap on Monday, but figured I'd make it up Tuesday.

Each morning this week she has cried and cried, complaining of tummy aches and saying "I want mama". On Wednesday I gave her some tylenol and that seemed to help, though I'm sure it was just a placebo. On Thursday, she kept crying that the tylenol wasn't helping. Jim took her and Carly to school, with Becky becoming increasingly hysterical as they drove. When they arrived, he watched as B crunched her abdominal muscles and made herself vomit. He called me and I told him to bring her home. She was not allowed to watch TV or use the computer, and she said to me "I promise I will go to school tomorrow. I will keep my promise."

This morning, more of the same. I didn't bother with the tylenol, and kept reminding her that she'd made a promise. She is also upset because she has to have her kindergarten immunizations today, but that is a smaller concern. Jim called to tell me that the teacher had to literally peel B off of him.

I totally understand that my mommy's girl wants to be with me and has had a ton of change recently. She's also disappointed because she didn't understand that she's in pre-k until 8/27 when K starts officially; she wanted to start K right away. My heart breaks for her, but I also need my rest. We've talked several times about how mommy is supposed to be sleeping a lot and that she needs to go to school. She listens but then says "I want mommy" and starts weeping again.

This is to the point where I am seriously considering telling her that I am going back to work next week, dressing for it, then changing back after she leaves. This kind of deception seems very wrong but I'm not sure what else to do. There is no way I can have her here all next week with me.


Pollyanna said...

Sounds like something Vance would do. I'm glad they like being with me, but I know he also enjoys school.

I wonder if she is worried about you and then wants to be with you. Maybe it is her way of telling you she is worried?

Still heart breaking though. I think your idea to dress for work is a good one. Good luck!

Bec said...

She probably thinks that if mom is home, she should be with mom -- I think that's normal :-) I know it has to be really hard and you do need to get rest. Might it work to get dressed even if you don't say you're going back to work (would that be enough perhaps so you don't have to go into the territory of untruths?). If you have to tell her you're going to work to make her feel like she isn't missing time with you, it is probably better to do that and have her extra upset about going to school. It's too bad that she's getting so worked up. Poor kid!

Hugs to both of you!

Jacqueline said...

I threw up every day on my way to school and sometimes in school as well for years and years. it was all nerves. [of course, hindsight is 20/20.]

Would you ever consider home schooling her unless and until she's ready to "go" to school?

onesillymama said...

Jacqui, I think homeschooling wouldn't be our best option, as I am not sure either Jim or I could do it. Our financial situation right now requires us both to work anyhow. :-(
She has been fine about going to school/daycare all along; it was just this week with all the change in her life that has been hard for her. Today (Tues) went a lot better so hopefully we're over a hump.