Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Finally an update!

Sorry for not posting for a while... too busy during the day, too tired in the evening!

Dr. Rini called me the morning of the 23rd to discuss the results of the biopsy. Luckily, Jim was in his office at that time so I was able to conference him in. As Dr. R put it, it was a good news/bad news situation.

Good news is, the biopsy showed no evidence of cancer. That IS good news.

But, it was still inconclusive as to what the nodule is. So it still could turn out to be cancer. In Dr. Rini's words, "we're not out of the woods yet."

For now, the game plan is for me to have CT scans again next week, which will be 6 weeks from last scans, to see if the nodule grows or changes, or if the inflamed lymph node changes. If there is no growth, then we'll rescan in 2 months. If there is growth, then I will likely have another lung biopsy. A biopsy of the lymph node is also possible but less likely. It's deep in my abdomen, and as Dr. R noted, " there are a lot of large blood vessels nearby and we don't like to put sharp things near them."

Dr. Rini said that it would not be a good idea to start chemo now, so I at least have a few more weeks chemical free, relatively speaking, and hopefully longer. He also told us that as kidney cancer goes, the amount of disease we are currently potentially looking at is very small. It's not the answer I was dreading, nor is it the answer I was hoping for. The people I've told have mostly all rejoiced and told me to think positively about it. I feel more reserved about it, however, and Jim, who is generally more pessimistic than I am, is even more circumspect about it. I want to celebrate but can't while there are still trees in front of me.

It's good to not have heard "the lung nodule is malignant" but frustrating to be in a hold pattern. The panic I felt in early June has mostly receded, except for a moment here or there. I'm trying to just have fun and enjoy summer with the girls. OTOH this latest bump in the road pushed Jim and me to do something we have been talking about doing for years; we consulted an estate attorney about having wills drawn up. It's not a fun topic of conversation but we really should have done it before Becky was born. Now, in a few weeks, we'll have accomplished something from our long-term "to do" list. Part of me feels good, like having my ducks in a row (at least this one big duck) will ensure that it won't be needed. The other part of me looks at the situation like it's a story or a movie... "it was a good thing Liz got her will done when she did, since things deteriorated rapidly." Do I think things will deteriorate rapidly? NO. But it's still a scary prospect.

I've been feeling like I need to really clean out the house, too. It's filled with disorganized junk and I can't believe it's gotten so bad. Yeah yeah yeah, we both work full time and have two small children to take care of, I know. But still... I need to get a grip on things here. I did some work on Tuesday while we were home for the holiday; we purposely made no plans for the 4th so we could do stuff at home. I started reclaiming the laundry room/pantry... not a big room but it's a start.

OK, this has gotten way too heavy. I do NOT want this to be a cancer blog... I refuse to have that situation rule my life! I now bring you a moment of silliness:

And one more:

Some people refuse to smile nicely for the camera these days... :-)


thebeloved said...

Your girls are adorable!!

patience said...

Cute, cute pics! They look like they're having a wonderful time!

Good news/Bad news . . . take the good news, deal with the bad news when you have to! And pray!

sherry said...

Sounds like good news to me!

More positive thoughts and
prayers coming your way from me and my close pals at work
(who ask about you all the time!)

The girls are cute li'l punkin pies!

Jacqueline said...

glad to hear from you... let's grab and hold onto the good news... always thinking of you...

bh said...

I am so glad for the update, seems like you should just take life as it comes. We did wills before Andrew was born and I was happy we did. Our family is planning on being at the H family reunion in a couple of weeks unless Pat has baseball so maybe we can meet up for girls night out with Lisa.
Take care, I am still praying for you. Barb

Sarah said...

Love the pics, Liz!

I'm sorry you're still "on hold". I'm thinking positive thoughts for you!