Thursday, April 27, 2006

Scala Girls Choir

Yesterday Jim sent me a download a song on a CD of the Scala Girls Choir, singing "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls. He told me that it would be okay to listen to with Becky since she wouldn't understand the lyrics but would enjoy the singing. He was right! It blew me away, and she loved it, calling it "pretty". Fortunately she didn't ask what the lyrics meant, lol.

Here is a link to them and a link to listen to "I Touch Myself" - don't listen to it in public if you don't want people to hear those particular lyrics, which you can read here .

Of course, the album ( or excuse me, CD; calling them "albums" dates me, eh?) is available from Spamazon and I loved the listener review...

I am such an 80's music child!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Blue week with some high notes

I'm glad the week is over and another one starting. Well actually I wish I could have a couple more weekend days, but doesn't everyone?

Jim was still on medical leave this week after his carpal tunnel release surgery. He decided last weekend that he was uncomfortable driving to the Clinic for his appt with the surgeon so I called in for Monday to drive him. (more on that later) He was nervous on the way there, partly because his stitches from the left side were going to be removed at the appt. He'd had the right hand stitches removed while in the OR under anesthesia for the left hand. I chuckled a little, because I had staples removed from both c-sections while wide awake lying in my hospital bed. Poor guy didn't know that it's not painful. When we spoke with the surgeon who was pleased with his progress but agreed that he should take off the rest of the week. So he did, and tonight is apprehensive about his return to work after 5 weeks. BTDT and I know it's not fun.

Carly has another cold and has been coughing quite a bit. This makes me nervous because she had RSV in January and I fear its return. We were really lucky that she didn't need serious treatment for it back then and I worry that it might be worse the next time. But she's been sleeping fine and drinking plenty so I think she's okay. We have been working on feeding her solids more this past week. At day care she gets cereal and fruit twice a day and is enjoying it more as she gets used to the spoon in her mouth. This weekend we tried carrots, which she seemed to like, and I bought some rice cereal, which she appears to prefer over the oatmeal.

On Thursday I got my annual performance review. We have a rating system where they expect you to fall into the Fully Meets Expectations category. Below that is Meets Most Expectations and something below (don't remember the name) and the top is Exceptional Performance. I've gotten EP in the past but did not expect it this year, given that I was out for 16 weeks of the year on leaves of absence, and was preoccupied with my health and my pregnancy much of the rest of the time. And I was right, I got FM. That was fine, though EP would get me a bigger salary increase but that's okay, especially since our whole merit increase budget is 3%, so there's not a lot of wiggle room there anyhow. What truly sucked however, was that after my review I was disciplined for attendance. I had too many occurrences of calling in days off since the first of the year. It really sucks because except for Monday, either one of the kids or I were sick every other time. Jim had very little PTO time to work with because he used over 2 wks with my maternity leave and almost a week when I had the kidney surgery. He needed a week for his own medical leave so whenever someone was sick, I took off. I know it's the policy and I understand that I am outside of the parameters, but it was still really upsetting, to the point that I cried. (That was embarrassing.) My coworker, Rich, could see me crying and was worried that I'd gotten a bad review. When I told him what happened he was mad because the salaried employees in our area have never really been disciplined for attendance and he thought it was unfair that we weren't warned. It was just such a shock because in my almost 20 years at the Clinic, I've never before been disciplined. But I'm over it now, for the most part. I just have to watch my call ins for the next year until these fall off. Bleah.

In better news... I finally got new eyeglasses. I was so tired of the ones I was wearing, which I had bought about 2 years ago. They were partially rimless and just seemed boring to me. I'd had an exam in late January so I had my prescription; finally made the time to go pick out glasses yesterday. The new frames are more trendy; they are rectangular and are black when you look straight at me, but the sides of the front piece and the stems are a lighter tortoise shell. I'd also considered a pair that were black straight on and blue on the sides and stems but decided these were a little less stark. I picked them up this afternoon and I really like them. Jim is not so sure but he'll come around, I hope. Becky helped to pick them out and was surprisingly noncommittal when she saw the finished product. Carly stared at me briefly then tried to pull the glasses off. Today I went for my periodic foil color session, so my hair is lighter too. Kim, my stylist, decided to make my hair curly today, which was cute but sooo different. She told me I can wear it tomorrow w/o washing and it will still look cute, due to the "product" she put in it. I'm not sure I will though; it feels like too much change to me. Once I'm back to "Liz hair" I'll have Jim take some pics and will post them. I also had my eyebrows waxed; they were really out of control. One of the other stylists did them and I was pleased because the one other time I had them done, they were overdone and I couldn't get used to them.

It feels weird to me, doing all this girl stuff lately. I even put on some makeup a couple of days this week. Just feels like I need to spruce things up a bit personally.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Nightcap thoughts

Tonight, as is her usual custom lately, Carly took a 6oz bottle at about 6:30pm then wanted more by 8. We've been giving her another 4oz and she passes out for the night. Silly girl doesn't like to nap at day care; she only does 2-3 naps of less than 45 min each. So by supper time she is exhausted. I've been trying to feed her solids at supper time but the poor baby is just too tired to deal.

Jim had given her the supper bottle so as she wailed, I quickly warmed a small bottle and took her up to the girls' bedroom, where we have a loveseat. As she sucked down the bottle I started thinking about all the things I wanted and needed to get done. I looked down at her small round face, with the eyelashes that are starting to curl, and realized that I needed to put the brakes on my racing mind and just enjoy the moment. She's so small and sweet and too soon will be a "big girl" running around. She's our last baby and I have been reminding myself to just treasure the little moments with her.

Carly is my blessing, my life saver, and my reminder to live in the moment. Actually both girls fill those roles; I feel that being pregnant with Carly saved my life but having Becky here definitely gave me the will to try to recover quickly from my nephrectomy. I'm working on trying not to put off fun but to make it a part of our lives. I'm good at living for the future, making lofty plans but never following through. However, I've decided that I need to change that. I want to make fun memories for us all. It's likely (and hopeful) that my cancer will not recur, but certainly could happen. If, God forbid, something happened to me, I don't want to leave Jim and the girls with any regrets of things we "should have done" but never made time/found money for them. On the other hand, assuming my health remains good, we'll be able to look back at memories of so many happy times together.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

only the beginning

I've been contemplating starting a blog for a while now. Why? Well, a few things that come to mind... I'd like a way to share info with my far-flung friends about my family and life. I'd like to practice writing and thought this would be a good way to work on more detailed descriptions, more thought put into understanding my emotions, etc. Also a place to share and vent a little, that is public and private at the same time. Is it frivolous of me? Maybe, time will tell.